Star Wars: The Force Is Sleepy

The best part about the new Star Wars movie is that the popcorn and Dr. Pepper was very good.  In fact, they had unlimited butteroid to put on the popcorn, and you could salt it yourself.

Seriously.  I saw A New Hope (although it wasn’t called that) in the drive-in theater on the north side of Muskogee, OK the week the movie was released, and was blown away.  To the point my buddies and I saw it the next evening, and the next.  When the Empire Struck Back, we yelled “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO keep going!!!!!!” from the darkness of the theater in Stillwater, OK, and then we went back several times.  And when the Jedi Returned, it was awesome, and we went back several times.

There is nothing to say about the “prequels”.  Except they are crap.

My Facebook review of TFA was, drum roll, please:  “Meh”.  After reflection, less then meh, even.  The movie was a single continuous take of one almost-didn’t-escape-that-[whatever certain death] after another almost-didn’t-escape-that-[whatever certain death], along with one-dimensional characters I don’t give a rip about.

OK, so they have FTL travel and blasters and light sabres and the Force; that’s all neat.  And it’s fantasy, I get that.  But having none other than Solo and the Wookie find the Falcon 16 and a half seconds after it was stolen from the planet, and then having bad guys find Solo three minutes later, and people being chased and eaten by monsters 18 seconds after that, and then having Lea find everyone after a battle, and all the other coincidences, it was beyond fantasy and into the realm of no frickin’ way.

I would have understood if Republic Mark II was in place, and fighting against the First Order, which objected to having their Emperor blown up.  But I do not understand how the First Order is still in charge, and why the ragtag, fugitive fleet (wait, strike that) Rebel Alliance Rev 1.1 is still on secret bases.

Related to that, why didn’t the Republic Mark II freeze the bank accounts of the Empire, preventing the First Order from building an Even Bigger Death Star.  Never mind that the EBDS sucks energy from a star to power it’s weapon to destroy every planet in a solar system at once?  W…T…F…?  If you know how to suck all the life Force from a star (yes, pun intended) then you really don’t have to be mucking around with the same TIE fighters you used 30 years earlier.  Do not get me started on the giant star map to Luke.  Ludicrous.

If I sound disappointed, well, check yourself out a new degree in Empathy.  I will not see the movie again, even when it gets replayed on the Disney Channel six times a day.  And I don’t even now if I will see the next installment.

I am afraid that I am going to end up relegating these Star Wars movies, like the prequels, into the same basket I place the film adaptations of my beloved The Hobbit, which is to say I skip right over them when I see them on TV, and I will not own them on DVD.  Sad to say, but TFA is really no better then the prequels, and which does a grave misservice to the grand saga of the original, and really only, Star Wars trilogy.

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